Time Flies!

I published the following post 10 years ago today on Facebook. My how time flies, indeed. Since then I’ve been blessed with 8 more grandkids. My first two, Maret and Aubree were less than a year old. I made a great recovery from the accident in India, thank you Harborview Trauma Center for rebuilding my arm! I’ve enjoyed good health for the most part, although my sciatic nerve is giving me fits right now, and relative prosperity. I’ve seen our two girls move back near us from Tulsa and experienced a big family really for the first time in my life. If I would have looked forward 10 years from the date of the original writing, I would not have envisioned anything like what has transpired!

At times I felt that frustrated that my life did not go as expected. After retirement I was looking to have meaningful impact in the second half of my life. I thought that meant doing big things in Africa for orphans or establishing some sort of business that would translate into a revenue stream to help people. After all, most of my life was in business, and I loved it. I resented that we had sold the company and my “purpose” and identity had been turned into an equity event. I kept wishing for my old life back again because it seemed like my life, responsibilities and work were more defined and clear cut, and most importantly it seemed, it was easy to place value on it, I was getting a paycheck to remind me.

The accident and subsequent recovery derailed that in dramatic fashion. I had no energy, it was all going to repair the damage to my body, I napped regularly for the first time in my life. When I got home from India it took an 8 hour surgery and then for skin grafts to fix what the surgeons attempted in India. Three major surgeries in a month! I had a buddy for those naps. Maret was about 8 months old and Sharon and I were watching her while both parents worked. She didn’t really like to nap, but we would lay there and eventually I would roll her over on my chest. Mar would scream bloody murder because she knew that she would be unable to stay awake much longer! Its amazing how that experience has created a very unique bond between us. Priceless!

Over the years it has become clear just how I had been sucked into the trap that our society sets for us. My value was not defined by a paycheck, and defining my life by my job was really kind of silly. A career takes a big chunk of time, no doubt, but I now realize how empty that is compared to the responsibilities I have towards my relationships, with family and friends. So much for ruminating, here is the post from the past.

May 23, 2013

My how time flies. It is one week since back from India, two weeks since the accident that has really flipped my world on its head (or maybe my arm is a better metaphor). It seems like an eternity, because my arm is constantly in pain from nerve damage, I guess, but I hate not being self-reliant as much as the pain. Definitely not my style!

So many questions and lessons packed into such a short period, I decided I needed to start writing or they would evaporate like the morning mist when the sun comes up.

Why do bad things happen to good people? I know I am implying a huge and probably erroneous assumption that I am a good person, but I guess that is natural, right?. Is there richness in a story without adversity and struggle? I am trying to remember a story where everything is always coming up roses, and I can’t think of one. Would I have realized the depth of relationship that I have developed with “my 5” Indian students if this had not happened? Possibly, but would I have appreciated it at the level it deserves? Doubtful. Cultural barriers did not allow Ayushi and Abhaya to come down and surprise me with Deependra, Giriraj and Devenshu, but they were there in spirit. Twenty one hours each way the three young men traveled, by train, bus and taxi without reservations (which means no guaranteed seat) in the 100+degree weather. All to see a guy they had met 6 days earlier and spend a few hours with him in the hospital. Why? What prompted that decision in the moment? Certainly nothing that I merited!

It was simply the love of God that I allowed, for a brief moment, to filter thru me that built this level of relationship with these amazing young people. So simple, in some ways so natural and beautiful, and at the same time very unnatural because it will cost us our position as #1; I wonder how often I have missed the chance?

I really did not want to go to India, I almost felt coerced into going at certain times. Was this a premonition of what would happen over there or was my reluctance due to a selfish feeling that I deserved a break after finishing my MA degree? Looking back on this, I realize how distorted my view of reality was. How could I ever want anything more than allowing God’s love to filter through the mess of my life? I say this now, typing with one hand, because I know I will need to read it in the future, my selfishness will try to bring back the distortion. If I don’t have a strong memory, an Ebenezer stone to remember the goodness and faithfulness of God, I will quietly drift back to a self-centered life of blah.

WII FM – The most listened to radio station in the world, as my dear friend David Carlson pointed out during ISOEL(the group I taught with in india) – “What’s In It For Me?” I have amazing new relationships with 33 Indian students that have the potential to change their society. Five new father/mentor relationships with the students mentioned above. Peace. If I would have known the price before the trip I know I would not have been willing to go. I would have missed out on one of the richest times of my life.

(Following are reactions from the above post on Facebook)

Alpit in "The Office"

• Giriraj P Singh

amazing....specially "u'd have known the price before the trip...u'd have missed out one of the richest time of ur life"...and "u r writing using ur 1 hand passionately "...n probably i(we) would have missed the persona like u...

• Dave Crumbo

Giriraj, that would have been a terrible price

• Deependra Shrivastava

sir i think fortune fluctuates but fate wont...u hit by a car,that prompted ur never coming back to india but it will prompt us to swing by america(to you) for sure ....we regreted the misfortunes of yours and that too in my country(which always welcome the people ) but in the end it does not even matter what happened,the thing wich matters is"THE RELATIONSHIP" which we built...your five kids are mad for you because it was your charisma through which we established such a life long wonderful bond and companionship...just wanna say"THANKS A LOT to be with us even when ur at such distance..but heart never understands the distance..its true for all of us..

• Ayushi Tongia

you really touch our hearts by the love you shed in your words... Deependra Shrivastava and Giriraj P Singh said as much... i dont even have words to express myself ... nobody in my life have i ever met other than you ... who came so close to my heart just in one week... you are so soo amazing sir !!!

• Tara Starkovich

Your writing, the above comments from "your 5", wow. Awesome. Please keep writing and sharing. It touches all of us. And by the way, yes, you're a good person, a very good person!